You were told stitches would dissolve and life would move on — instead every sit, wipe, and glance in the mirror triggers wince or panic. Episiotomy and tear repairs are standard yet rarely discussed honestly at 3 a.m.
NHS postnatal guidance covers hygiene and expected soreness timelines. This page separates normal stitch tenderness from infection red flags and helps you track healing without mirror obsession.
How you might be feeling
Mirror checking can become compulsive — or you avoid looking entirely, imagining the worst. Partners may not understand why you sit at an angle or refuse visitors on the sofa.
You might feel betrayed by a body that needed cutting to finish birth. Each toilet trip rehearses catastrophe — will it tear open? Will it never stop hurting?
Shame about smell or swelling stops some mums calling general practitioner (GP) early — clinicians have seen thousands of healing perineums. Your worry is data, not dirtiness.
What is usually normal
NHS your body after birth describes dissolving stitches, swelling peaking early days, and gradual comfort gains. RCOG patient information notes most episiotomies heal without complication when kept clean and dry.
Expected: sting with movement, itch as stitches dissolve, ache after long walks. Not expected: fever, pus, wound edges separating widely, pain escalating after initial improvement.
Pelvic floor exercises start when comfortable — gentle, not straining. Physio referral is standard after third- or fourth-degree tears or ongoing symptoms.
What you can try tonight
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Hygiene after toilet — warm water rinse or pat dry front to back.
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Pain relief on schedule if approved — do not wait for agony before feeds or toilet.
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Ring cushion for sitting; side-lying feeds reduce pressure.
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One symptom log line — pain 0–10, any odour or heat — not hourly photos.
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Stool softener if general practitioner (GP) approved and bowel dread is high.
When to contact someone
GP, maternity triage, or NHS 111 for fever, foul discharge, spreading redness, pus, or pain suddenly worse.
999 if heavy bleeding with dizziness or collapse.
Pelvic health physio via general practitioner (GP) for persistent pain, granulation tissue concerns, or continence issues.
At your appointment
Tell general practitioner (GP) or health visitor: I am worried about my stitches healing.
- Episiotomy or tear grade if known
- Pain and swelling trend
- Bowel and bladder function
- Safe timing for sex and tampons
- Physio referral if needed
Related reading
- Broader perineal care: Pelvic floor perineal recovery
- Vaginal recovery overview: Vaginal birth recovery checklist
- Six-week nerves: Six-week mum check dread
- Hub: Mum body recovery hub
Official sources
If printable helps
Symptoms in the mum recovery daily check-in. Questions on six-week check appointment prep. Rest pacing in the postpartum rest planner between toilet and feed marathons.